男人的英语vs女人的英语
说英语也有性别之分
语言本是人们沟通的工具，没有性别之分，但由于男女的社会分工、性格特色、生理特点不同，每一种语言都深深地打上了性别的烙印。在国外，有部分社会语言学家，专门研究语言与性别的关系。美国有一位学者graham goodwin，从1980年到1990年，先后十次，在费城街头，收集不同年龄、种族、职业的男、女行人的谈话，进行比较研究，结果发现，与男人的语言相比，女人的语言至少有下列特点。
a 女人喜欢使用第一人称复数(我们)形式，比如we need……(我们需要)，而男人喜欢使用第一人称单数(我)，比如i want……(我想要)。
b女人喜欢使用平易、通俗的单词，比如用nice、sweet等来形容(好)，而男人喜欢使用华丽、夸张的单词，比如用splendid、gorgeous等来形容“好”。
c女人喜欢创造一些比较女性化的说法，比如dove grey(类似鸽子羽毛的灰色)，而男人喜欢使用英语标准的说法，比如light grey(浅灰色)。
d女人重视语法的正确性，比如we＇re going to……(我们正在去/即将去)，而男人不重视语法的正确性，比如we＇re gonna……(我们正在去/即将去)。
e女人喜欢直接引用，比如hannah said that……(汉娜说)，而男人喜欢间接引用，比如she said that……(她说)。
f女人喜欢礼貌表达，比如would you please……(您能)，而男人喜欢常规表达，比如can you……(你能)。
最后一个，同时也是最重要的一个特点，那就是女人喜欢倾听，而男人喜欢诉说，比如下面一段对话，拿给普通的美国人看一遍，然后让他们判断一下a和b的性别，结果所有人都认为：喋喋不休的a是男人，随声附和的b是女人。
□a□ i saw a kingfisher saturday morning.
□b□ did you﹖
□a□ it took off about three feet from my side. i didn＇t see it in the bush. it took off out of a bush...
□b□ mmmm.
□a□ passed the front of my canoe and flew into a tree. i sat there...
□b□ very nice.
□a□ and thought ...
□b□ yeah.
□a□ it looked down at me□ and it was really bright.
□b□ beautiful.
希望看完后各位贸易界人士今后可以在商场情场游刃有余，左右逢源。
mens english
im hungry = im hungry.
im sleepy = im sleepy.
im tired = im tired.
do you want to go to a movie? = id like to have sex with you.
can i take you out to dinner? = id like to have sex with you.
can i call you sometime? = id like to have sex with you.
may i have this dance? = id like to have sex with you.
nice dress! = nice cleavage!
you look tense, let me give you a massage = i want to fondle you.
whats wrong? = i dont see why you are making such a big deal out of this.
whats wrong? = what meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
whats wrong? = i guess sex tonight is out of the question.
im bored = do you want to have sex?
i love you = lets have sex now.
i love you, too = okay, i said it, wed better have sex now!
yes, i like the way you cut your hair = i liked it better before.
yes, i like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesnt look that much different!
lets talk = i am trying to impress you by showing that i am a deep.
person and maybe then youd like to have sex with me.
will you marry me? = i want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
(while shopping) i like that one better = pick any freakin dress and lets go home!
i dont think that blouse and that skirt go well together = i am gay.
womens english
yes = no.
no = yes.
maybe = no.
im sorry = youll be sorry.
we need = i want.
its your decision = the correct decision should be obvious by now.
do what you want = youll pay for this later.
we need to talk = i need to complain.
sure go ahead = i dont want you to.
im not upset = of course im upset, you moron!
youre so manly = you need a shave and you sweat a lot.
youre certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
be romantic, turn out the lights = i have flabby thighs.
this kitchen is so inconvenient = i want a new house.
i want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.
hang the picture there = no, i mean hang it there!
i heard a noise = i noticed you were almost asleep.
do you love me? = im going to ask for something expensive.
how much do you love me? = i did something today youre really not going to like.
ill be ready in a minute = kick off your shoes and find a good game on tv.
is my butt fat? = tell me im beautiful.
you have to learn to communicate = just agree with me.
are you listening to me!? = too late, youre dead.
was that the baby? = why dont you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
im not yelling! = yes i am yelling because i think this is important.
the same old thing = nothing.
nothing = everything.
everything = my pms is acting up.
nothing, really = its just that youre such an asshole.